I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
