Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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