Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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