so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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