oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
