I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
