Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize