I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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