Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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