Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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