I want to make a zoo with you.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
