can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
