CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
