Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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