I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
