He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
