do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
This house was built for laser tag.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
