Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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