I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
