Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
