Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
