Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
