So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
