PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
