uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
