I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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