Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
