I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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