Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
So squirting runs in the family.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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