Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
