I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
