is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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