Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize