I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Randomize
