my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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