I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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