If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
