If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
