The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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