You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
