Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
