and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
