People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
