I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
