Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
