he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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