worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
