I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Houston, we have a blender
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
