yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
The uberlube is also flammable
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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