Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
