Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
