She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
