Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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