She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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