We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
