No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize