it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
