kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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