we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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