Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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