It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
