I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
