I need help removing her.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
