I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
