the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
