handjob tips. give me some.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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