I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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