just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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