i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
