saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
My ATM looks so different sober.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
