I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
