I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize