is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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